Sometimes, I just can’t sleep. It doesn’t matter how many sheep I’ve counted, how many hours of exercise completed that day, how few hours of sleep were completed the night prior, nor (contrary to the premise of this blog) how many glasses of milk warmed or not that I’ve drinken. Drank? Drunk? I digress.
The other night was one of those nights for me. After hours of restlessness, I turned to my friends Lucy and Ethel. There’s just something about the faded black and white, and the incessant “splainin” after an inevitable mishap that help calm me into sleep. What does that have to do with drinking milk? Not much. But it was on an episode of I Love Lucy that I was watching on Hulu that a “Got Milk” advertisement popped up. They told me that if I was having trouble sleeping, that I should drink some milk, and that they were there for me. They wanted to help me. Up in the top corner of the advertised web skin, I saw a phone number for 1.855.MILK.ZZZ.
Of course being the marketing junky that I am, I had no choice but to 2 a.m. bootycall the milk man. I was greeted by a friendly operator who consoled me for my sleep deprivation and offered me six melodic options to help me fall asleep. I’d have to say that the world’s most boring man reading the number for Pi was my favorite. Though the gleeful milk maids frolicking under milkfalls and the montage of my fellow Americans yawning were close seconds.
While it’s possible that my level of amusement is in direct correlation to my lack of sleep, I did quite enjoy this marketing stint. And I did fall asleep shortly after. While your bladder may discourage you from adhering to the glass of milk before sleep recommendation, I encourage any insomniac to forego counting sheep, and try calling the milk man.